Welcome back to another thrilling episode of "I Swear I’ll Study Today," where I make elaborate study plans only to have reality body-slam me into a completely different storyline. Today’s highlights include an argument, existential dread, and a dog that needs therapy.
Late-Night Chaos & The Domino Effect 🌙🔥
I had every intention of getting a solid night’s rest to wake up fresh for some hardcore math prep. But life, in its infinite wisdom, decided otherwise.
At exactly 11:50 PM, my ex decided it was the perfect time to have an argument. And, of course, instead of being a mature adult and ignoring it, I got sucked into the drama like a side character in a telenovela—no script, no escape. Fast forward to 6:40 AM—I hadn’t slept, hadn’t studied, and was questioning my life choices.
Originally, I was planning to pull an all-nighter to study, but that plan went straight out the window the moment my ex called. What followed was six hours of emotional rollercoastering, leaving me too drained to even look at my math notes.
Lesson learned? Probably not.
The Rituals of the Sleep-Deprived ☕🛋️
Woke up at 12:40 PM. Yes, I basically time-traveled.
From there, it was straight into damage control mode: morning rituals (or in this case, "afternoon survival")—shower, tea, and trying to remember what year it was.
At 1 PM, my mom called while picking up my brother from school. Normally, we chat about random stuff, but today, I decided to drop some cybersecurity wisdom on her. Told her about freelancing, certifications, and how I plan to be job-ready in a year. Big mistake.
Her response? "I don’t wanna know. Whatever you do, you do for yourself."
Well, damn. Guess I’m in solo-player mode now. 🎮
Karol Bagh Side Quest & A Dog in Need of Therapy 🐶💦
After the career talk flop, the conversation shifted to actually important things—like PS4 games.
Initially, I was planning to pilgrimage to Karol Bagh, but turns out, I can install them myself because, well, I am the tech guy.
Then, things took a weird turn.
Apparently, there’s this mentally unstable black dog that just… clings to everyone. My mom carries a water bottle just to splash at him whenever he gets too close. Not gonna lie, this dog needs therapy more than I do.
My Brother, The Future Vigilante 👦⚖️
So my 7-year-old brother got off the school van absolutely fuming.
Apparently, a kid from Flower 2 class (yes, that’s a thing) squashed his leg—whether intentionally or by accident, we’ll never know. My mom, being the concerned parent she is, launched into full police-interrogation mode.
Then, in an unexpected twist, she advised him to squash the other kid’s leg in return.
Justice, but make it petty.
My brother, now fully convinced that revenge was the only way, stopped crying and immediately agreed. Love that for him. 💀
Later, he video-called me, only for us to realize—plot twist—it was just an accident. Crisis averted.
New Episode: The Friend Zone Chronicles 🎮💇♀️
So, here’s where my best friend swoops in and gives me yet another reason to procrastinate.
I had just started my full-on study mode—pen in hand, formulas sprawled out like a battle plan, when suddenly, my phone buzzed. It was my best friend. Picture me, deep in the zone, preparing for a serious math showdown, when out of nowhere, my best friend calls and distracts me like a surprise plot twist.
She starts by asking about The Last of Us Part II—she thought I had somehow downloaded it on my laptop. I told her, "Nah, you can't even play that game on a potato like my laptop." And then, without skipping a beat, I went into full detail about my PS4 setup. "I got a PS4 fat 9.0 jailbroken from Karol Bagh," I said, casually as if I were telling her how I got a good deal at the grocery store. "Comes with five games and two controllers for 28,000 Rs." She was honestly floored. I think she was expecting me to pull out a magic wand or something.
Next up, she wanted to know how people play PS4 games on their PCs without owning a PS4. So, I explained it to her in the most matter-of-fact way, as if I were giving a tech lecture: "You install games from Steam or other sketchy websites... some people even go the piracy route, but hey, I don’t judge." Her surprise was almost audible. You could practically hear her brain processing it in real-time.
Then, she hit me with this one: she’s saving up for a trip to Rishikesh for rafting. I’ve gone rafting so many times now that I feel like a pro. So naturally, I gave her all my tips. "Don’t just paddle like you're swatting a fly. You’ve got to channel all your energy into it." Yeah, I went full-on mentor mode, but hey, what are friends for?
Then she mentioned that her mom was protective, so I said, "Tell her you’re going to face the rapids like a champ, and it’ll be fine." But, as fate would have it, she got distracted and put me on hold to call her roommate and make plans to grab a bite. I waited, but then she accidentally video-called me. Now imagine this: two frozen screens—me, looking like I was stuck in a weird pause frame, and her, equally frozen. It was awkward, to say the least.
Then she casually told me she was planning to color her hair. I told her she should totally do it. "Go for it, you’ll look amazing." But then, just as I was about to return to my studies, I brought up a friend who was thinking about getting a piercing, even though his parents were against it. "Hey, what’s youth without a little rebellion, right?" Her roommate, who’s also my friend, jokingly said, "But we don’t have money!" I replied, "Yeah, same here, I’m broke too. But I could always ask my mom for some cash..." Classic me, always trying to help out when I can.
Her response? "I know you were kidding!" Well, yeah, of course, but I can’t deny, I love spoiling my friends when I can. It's just one of those things. We wrapped up the conversation, and she bid me farewell, leaving me to finally get back to my much-needed study time.
Study Sessions, Snacks, and Shenanigans
After an entire day of emotional damage, unexpected social interactions, and moral dilemmas about canine therapy, I finally sat down to study. And by "sat down to study," I mean I stared at my notes with the intensity of someone trying to telepathically absorb information.
A speedrun of derivatives, limits, and integrals began—my brain fighting for survival like a Level 1 player entering a Dark Souls boss fight. I scribbled furiously, nodded at the formulas like they made perfect sense, and even whispered, "Yeah, yeah, I totally remember this..." (Narrator: He did not.)
Then, like clockwork, my stomach decided to launch a protest. "Feed me or fail your exam." Well, who am I to ignore such a clear threat? I grabbed two packets of biscuits and a pack of peanuts, channeling my inner goblin as I inhaled them in record time. At this point, I was 70% caffeine, 20% regret, and 10% actual knowledge.
But just as I was about to refocus, Duolingo betrayed me. A notification popped up: "You dropped out of the Ruby League." Oh, the audacity. The sheer disrespect. I had two options—ignore it and continue studying, or spend the next 30 minutes grinding XP to reclaim my rightful place. Obviously, I chose war.
At 10:15 PM, my roommate and I made a late-night ATM run because Mom had sent some money. Naturally, this led to a well-deserved momo break. Priorities, after all.
And now, I have to wake up at 6 AM tomorrow, but let’s be real—I think I’m about to pull an all-nighter. My exam is tomorrow, and I can already hear my parents sharpening their chappals in case I mess up. I’m sitting here acting like I’m fearless, but deep down? I am absolutely terrified.
At this point, the Math Boss Fight is imminent. Would I rise victorious or be reduced to a tragic statistic in the annals of CBSE history? Only time would tell.
Final Thoughts: Will I Pull This Off? ⏳
Will I finally follow through with my plan? Will the math boss fight be defeated? Or will I, yet again, be sidetracked by YouTube, side quests, and existential dread?
Stay tuned. The clock is ticking.
If I don’t follow this, Future Me has permission to be extremely disappointed.
Until next time,
– Jed
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